I hope you are having a happy day. Mine has been… a day. I allowed someone to hurt my feelings excruciatingly. I don’t think this person was meaning to be hurtful but nevertheless, it hurt. Besides, I’m more emotional around the holidays, so that really didn’t help.
And then, crazy me had to make one last trip to the grocery store for last minute items and to the liquor store for some much needed wine (not for the holiday but for ME!!!), and this sweet lady checking our items said she was happy to be working on Thanksgiving tomorrow because she recently lost one of her daughters, so now I’m ashamed of myself for having my feelings hurt. I nearly broke down crying in front of this lady but just breathed my way through it, telling myself to FOCUS on the credit card machine. Dry your eyes, Carol! Breathe!!! Do not break!! That lady did not need my weepy nature. I didn’t want to cause her more sadness.
So now I’m home, guzzling the wine, snacking on what’s left (not much) of my 13 yr cheddar and making myself happy. I have much to be grateful for. I do not want to feel sappy – not for me, not for anyone else. I want to feel happy.
Do you have this problem? Are you over-emotional? Is it worse for you at the holidays?
Honestly, I am the most blessed person on the planet. I have a home. I have my two greatest loves and I get to see them every single day and I get to talk to them every day and kiss them.
So why can I not just be happy about all that? I mean, I am happy about that.
Why do I have to be missing someone? Why do I make it sad? I miss my dad more around the holidays. All the special days, ya know? And there are so many special days around the year, but birthdays and holidays get me every time. I’m so aware of the absence.
However, I will talk to my daddy in the morning while I’m cooking and cry if I need to and get that part done early, so perhaps around the time we’re ready to eat, I’ll have gotten it out of my system and can laugh and have a good time. And I’m sure alcohol couldn’t hurt. Really, I’m not a lush. I just sound like one.
And on to another subject, catching you up on the past two days of perks to meditating daily:
- Deep Relaxation
- Stress Response
- Einstein Brain
- More Motivation
- Peace Of Mind
- Endorphins (Cancer)
- Gene Expression
- Beat Addiction
If anyone needs for me to elaborate on any of these, just say so.
Not many days left to the meditating for 30 days and I’m sure most of you are glad as it seems not that many people are interested in the subject, but I am getting something out of it, although, honestly, I did not make time to meditate today. Or rather, I have not had time. We did the gym at o:dark:30, then home to nap for an hour, then go to work, then go grab groceries, wine and a late lunch/early supper, then home and my kiddo met me at home at the same time. Funny. She was actually behind us coming home. What are the odds? She got off just a little early. She had to catch up on some online homework so I thought I’d catch up on the blog. Gonna be a busy day tomorrow, so if I don’t make it online, have a good one.
Happy Thanksgiving of Friendsgiving! I hope your hearts are full of love and gratitude and your bellies full of good food. Enjoy. xoxo