Happy Pre-Thanksgiving

I hope you are having a happy day. Mine has been… a day. I allowed someone to hurt my feelings excruciatingly. I don’t think this person was meaning to be hurtful but nevertheless, it hurt. Besides, I’m more emotional around the holidays, so that really didn’t help.

And then, crazy me had to make one last trip to the grocery store for last minute items and to the liquor store for some much needed wine (not for the holiday but for ME!!!), and this sweet lady checking our items said she was happy to be working on Thanksgiving tomorrow because she recently lost one of her daughters, so now I’m ashamed of myself for having my feelings hurt. I nearly broke down crying in front of this lady but just breathed my way through it, telling myself to FOCUS on the credit card machine. Dry your eyes, Carol! Breathe!!! Do not break!!  That lady did not need my weepy nature. I didn’t want to cause her more sadness.

So now I’m home, guzzling the wine, snacking on what’s left (not much) of my 13 yr cheddar and making myself happy. I have much to be grateful for. I do not want to feel sappy – not for me, not for anyone else. I want to feel happy.

Do you have this problem? Are you over-emotional? Is it worse for you at the holidays?

Honestly, I am the most blessed person on the planet. I have a home. I have my two greatest loves and I get to see them every single day and I get to talk to them every day and kiss them.

So why can I not just be happy about all that? I mean, I am happy about that.

Why do I have to be missing someone? Why do I make it sad? I miss my dad more around the holidays. All the special days, ya know? And there are so many special days around the year, but birthdays and holidays get me every time. I’m so aware of the absence.

However, I will talk to my daddy in the morning while I’m cooking and cry if I need to and get that part done early, so perhaps around the time we’re ready to eat, I’ll have gotten it out of my system and can laugh and have a good time. And I’m sure alcohol couldn’t hurt. Really, I’m not a lush. I just sound like one.

And on to another subject, catching you up on the past two days of perks to meditating daily:

  1. Deep Relaxation
  2. Stress Response
  3. Einstein Brain
  4. More Motivation
  5. Peace Of Mind
  6. Endorphins (Cancer)
  7. Gene Expression
  8. Beat Addiction

If anyone needs for me to elaborate on any of these, just say so.

Not many days left to the meditating for 30 days and I’m sure most of you are glad as it seems not that many people are interested in the subject, but I am getting something out of it, although, honestly, I did not make time to meditate today. Or rather, I have not had time. We did the gym at o:dark:30, then home to nap for an hour, then go to work, then go grab groceries, wine and a late lunch/early supper, then home and my kiddo met me at home at the same time. Funny. She was actually behind us coming home. What are the odds? She got off just a little early. She had to catch up on some online homework so I thought I’d catch up on the blog. Gonna be a busy day tomorrow, so if I don’t make it online, have a good one.

Happy Thanksgiving of Friendsgiving! I hope your hearts are full of love and gratitude and your bellies full of good food. Enjoy.  xoxo

A Productive Day and a Question For You

So asking again – some votes are in and I want to hear from the rest of you on what the next challenge should be if ya don’t mind:

1. A new poem daily
2. Weight loss challenge for 30 days
3. Stepping out of my comfort zone daily
4. Making time to read for fun (I never seem to make time for this)
5. Purposely learn something new every day
6. Learning 1-3 new words every day (this has the most votes for Dec, so far)
7. Experiencing a plant-based diet (doing this in Jan)
8. Going caffeine free (meaning no coffee) 30 days+

What sounds interesting? Do you have any ideas for a fun challenge? Let me know. You can post here on the comments, or on the blog facebook page on my latest post, or my Instagram page under my New Challenge – Start post.

On to more benefits from daily meditation:

  1. Cure headaches
  2. Healing Thoughts
  3. Emotional Stability
  4. Compassion

Ask if you need me to elaborate.

Today was very beneficial. I was too busy this morning to get my meditation in first thing so I squeezed it in toward the end of the day. Actually, at 6pm, after work. I normally work until 430 but I wanted to finish some things so I didn’t have to worry about them on Monday.

However, while a new app was downloading onto my comp for work, I cleaned and organized different areas in my office and the rest of the house, so I got sooo much done today. I feel so accomplished.

Plus, I mowed my lawn (probably for the last time this year) during my lunch hour, so now my yard looks groomed and clean. Yea! Today was another feeling filled with happiness kind of day. I was a little irked because during each project I worked on, I kept getting interrupted, but they were sweet interruptions, so I’ll take it. I didn’t get finished with all my projects, but they were nothing that couldn’t be finished up on Monday, so it’s all good. I got the deadlines for today completed.

After work, had a few bites of glazed chicken, rice and about four seasoned green beans for supper, then a leeetle wine, cheese and pork tenderloin. Girlfriend was eatin’ good tonight, babeeee!  Yum! Then, I was too tired to bake cookies, even though I really wanted some, so I opted for a handful of peanut M&Ms.

I’m writing up my ingredients list that I need to purchase from the grocer on Saturday for everything I’m making for Thanksgiving and then another list of ingreds for the tree decorating party that weekend. Fun times will be had! And probably some spiked eggnog. And hot cocoa. And there’s always wine. Oh, and hot spiced cider. I hope the weather will be nice and chilly. My house is almost ready for guests. Just as long as I finish everything by Wednesday, I’ll be a happy camper.

Do y’all have fun festivities planned with friends and family for Thanksgiving? Or just family? Or do you have FriendsGiving and skip the family thing altogether?

I am off to work a bit on my book, and probably go find another glass of Sweet Red. I’m pitiful, I know. But for some reason, my writing is easier when I have a little liquid courage. I don’t overthink, ya know? My mind is more relaxed and flying on the wings of imagination. Can’t you just see me sitting on a wing with my glass of wine in one hand and my block o’ cheese in the other? Lol – with it being me, my hair would be blowing right into my mouth so I couldn’t access the wine or cheese.

I’m rambling… Sorry.

Anywho, y’all have a groovilicious evening and I’ll chat ya up tomorrow. Tomorrow will be fun! A Christmas shopping adventure will be going on at a local annual venue. I’m sure I’ll spend too much. Or just enough. And then lunch out with my mom, groceries, errands, and more fun stuff.

Laters taters!  xoxo

Sorry for being MIA – Have a Fabulous Turkey Day!!

thanks

Just wanted to drop a line or two or a few…

Sorry for being MIA. I have been working on NaNoWriMo and updating more on Instagram (@carolblakesessums) than anywhere else lately.

I will be more present and updating more regularly to the blog come January. December will be even crazier than November with Christmas and revising/polishing my book, so if I don’t see y’all on the blog, hopefully I’ll catch you on Instagram or I’ll see you back here in January. I haven’t forgotten you or the blog, so just know you are loved and special and thought about and I hope you have a fabulous, fun, filling Thanksgiving with all your favorite foods, family and friends! That’s a lot of F-words! The good kind! Believe it or not, I did not actually plan it that way. Ha! Just one o’ them things…

Go out there and make some memories. Don’t forget to take pictures!

*smooch*

Love ya,

Carol

Thank you, Jesus

My second thank you letter in my 365 Thank You Letters project.

_____

My dear, sweet, loving Jesus,

jesus

How very special you are to me! I can never thank you enough for always being close by, guiding me, along with our Father’s help. Thank y’all for the employment of God’s many angels, for all our many blessings and most of all, for saving me from my sins so that I can be with you and my family in heaven one day, hopefully far, far from now. No offense. I surely will be so very happy to see you again. I just want to be around on the earth for a while so I can spend more time with my two favorite girls, witness my daughter graduate high school, then college, then her marrying the right guy, my playing ‘Nonnie’ (otherwise known as grandma) to my grandbabe(s), witness my mom turning a happy and healthy 110+, and witness so many more blessings.

Thank you for showing up at all the right times when I needed you most. I know that was you. I felt you sit on the edge of my bed and soothe the pain in my soul. You lulled me to sleep that night. Thank you for getting me out of all those bad decisions and almost bad decisions, for loving me in spite of my many weaknesses and stupidity and anger and meanness. Thank you for your forgiveness and for going to our Father on my behalf.

jesus2

When I think of what all you went through for me (for all of us), I can’t help but cry, sweet Jesus. To go through so much torture, cruelty and torment, it physically hurts my heart and body. I wish it could have gone a different way. I wish you could have saved us from our sins without going through such pain and suffering. But you did do it. And you did it for us. Because you love us. Because you’re strong and brave and your love has more courage, strength and power than any physical abuse you could have ever experienced. I know you are healed and feel no physical pain now, but my heart still aches when I think of those six hours you spent on the cross and the torture leading up to that.

Please forgive me for my sins. Please wash me as white as snow. Wash those sins away and renew me in you, sweet Brother. I belong to you and to our Father and I always will. Please help me to be more like you, fill me with your love and compassion and friendship and kindness so that I, too, can spread that love and goodness like you did and still do. Help me to be courageous and strong in spirit. Help me to have confidence so that I can do whatever it is you and our Father wish for me to do. And fill me with your strongest faith, Jesus. You are my truest hero and I will never love anyone as much as I so deeply and truly love you!!! Thank God and YOU for your beautiful soul!!

Love forever and ever till the end of time (if there is such a thing),

Carol

 

Images courtesy of http://www.akiane.com/ and photobucket.com

Trying to Learn to Be Still, like I have a Choice

meditation

I realize I’ve been MIA for a while.  Sorry ’bout that.  A lot going on.  Working more than 40 hours a week, plus the video project (though that’s on hold, currently), Thanksgiving holidays, chasing after a very busy teenager, etc.

So I’m in a state of busyness and stillness, which is a bit of contradiction so let me explain.   Busy with work – super busy, but I love it.  Over 46 hours each week but I love my clients and what I do so it doesn’t feel like work.  The YouTube video thing started off pretty strong.  I got 5 ladies who were willing to interview, which is awesome, but then it’s calmed down quite a bit, so I’m unsure what’s next with this.  I thought of taking to the streets but I’m wondering if I’d be putting myself in danger with this.  You know… People.  Be.  Crazy.

So, a contact/friend of mine that works for the local paper who prints my monthly column is posting info about my project in order to get people to contact me instead of me going out trying to find people.  I’m hoping this works well.  I tried contacting different schools (public and private) but either they have stipulations that do not allow media or either they never wanted to return my emails nor phone calls.  Nice, huh?  I’d prefer a NO to nothing at all.  The principal of the local intermediate school was most gracious in the explanation as to why they couldn’t let me film the children.  I totally get it.

But I still need to interview some men and children, all people, from all walks of life.  I’m hoping and praying I get some positive feedback from the print out in the paper that should be coming out by tomorrow.  I’ll check out some local charitable organizations that help the homeless and see where I can get with that since I’m guessing they aren’t getting my emails – I’m thinking most email goes to spam, even though my name is part of the email.  Oh well.  We’ll see.  Or they could be like me and never check their email.  I check one, in particular, but the others?  Well, I’m way behind on those.  I only have so much time to do everything, ya know?  Yeah, I know ya feel me.  I know you’re busy, too.  Tis the season.  Every day.

As for my book, I had to stop working on that to pursue this video project thingy, so that’s at a standstill also.  Don’t you just wish sometimes God would lean his head down and tell you what it is you need to do now?  Like, “Wait on this.  Do this.”  Or, “forget about that, do this.”  Or, “you need to find time to do all of it.  Figure out a schedule where you can fit 46+ work hours in, 12 hours of interviewing and editing and posting video, and put in time for family and finishing your book.”  So, God, can you please add more hours to each week?  Some things I will not skimp on and that’s family time.  And my work.  And anything else that I care about, but I don’t have time for everything I care about so I have to sacrifice a little, right?  I don’t want to kill myself over stretching myself so thin that I don’t sleep.

Argh!  So much to figure out.  But all I can do at this point is wait on the creative projects until I guess a week after the piece comes out in the paper.  If I haven’t gotten calls in a week, nobody is gonna call.  I’m thinking I may get too many calls and then every week (one day per week) will be booked for months, which would be truly awesome!  At the same time, my writing will suffer, because no extra time to work on that book.  Bummer.  Sometimes, I truly do not know what the most important thing is.  I’m guessing the video thing is because it’s helping people, even though it hasn’t had as much exposure as I would have liked but perhaps once I get the videos and channel more out there and work on my editing skills, improving those as I go along, I think people’s stories will help others.  Telling your story helps you and hearing other’s stories helps you, so it’s a win-win, right?  How can sharing stories be wrong?  I felt I was answering the vision God put in my head.  But if all I get is a standstill, what does that tell me except to be still.  It’s like being in the military all over again.  Hurry up and wait.  Do it but wait.  Not dissing the military but they can be pretty slow when completing certain tasks, just like the government and pretty much anything else in life, right?  Hurry up and wait.  Lovely.  I did NOT pray for patience even though I know I need it.  I suppose I didn’t have much extra time this past week to interview and this week is stacked pretty high except for Friday, so we’ll see what happens.

Prayers and positive vibes are all welcome treasures, if you don’t mind.  I could use some of each.  For now, I’ll just work and press on and pray and hope I get some nice calls from some cool people and I’ll keep you posted.  I’ll try to do better about posting to the blog, too.  I may not do the hump day haiku unless I get feedback from some peeps who are truly interested in reading and participating with those.  Maybe I’ll get back to Thankfulness Thursday.  It’s pretty important to remain thankful every day.  Helps to just get through life, ya know?  I thought about adding something on Monday and Friday but I’ll get back to you on that.

So how was your Thanksgiving?  Or Friendsgiving?  Or do you not celebrate either?  I realize it’s not for everyone and not every county celebrates Thanksgiving.  I cooked a good bit and ate a great bit!  Still have leftovers.  I got my bootie on that treadmill a little while ago and walked and ran and I plan to do that again 2 or 3 times today.  Tell me about your long weekend and how you celebrated or if you did.  I miss chatting with you guys and I hope you are well!!  Ready for Christmas?  Haha!

Love you!

Carol  xoxo

 

Photo courtesy of collective-evolution.com

Happy Turkey Day, Y’all!

I just wanted to stick my head in real quick and take time to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving for those of you who are celebrating this day.  I would like say that I appreciate you and thank God for sharing your life with me and allowing me to share my life with you.  I’m truly a better person for knowing you and just wanted you to know.  I’m truly thankful on this day and every day.  I am learning not to complain as much for all that I don’t have and becoming more joyful and rich in all the blessings I do have.  I have a beautiful, wonderful, loving family who I adore.  We are healthy.  We have jobs.  Hallie has a great school.  We have our homes, our land, furry babies, loving friends like you and I could go on and on.

I hope you enjoy your day and weekend and feel truly blessed in all that you have.  Count your blessings and feel rich with those things given you.

I’m off to start all my cooking.  Made my pie crust dough last night and that’s been chilling overnight.  Gotta go make my deviled eggs, sweet potato casserole, apple pie with Gruyere baked into the crust (yum!), pumpkin roll and I’m not sure what else but I’m sure I’ll think o’ something to bring.  Then we’re off to Mama’s.  Good thing it’s right next door!  🙂

Happy Turkey Day, y’all!  *smooch*

Maybe I’ll actually post a photo or two later on.