Love is the Bridge Between You and Everything

Love is the bridge between you and everything. ~Rumi

On this Valentine’s Day, please recognize the love you hold in your heart for yourself, for life, for the beauty in and surrounding you, your family, friends, things you love, foods you love, places you love. It’s not always about a significant other but if you have one, of course, celebrate them too. However, love is more expansive and complex and is more meaningful if you hold the love and space for yourself and all that you love.

I do not have a significant other this V-Day and I’m actually good with that this year. Why? Because I do not define myself and my happiness around another person. Men are lovely and perhaps I’ll make room in my life one day soon for another beautiful soul but I’m in no hurry. I love me, my family, friends and my life. And that fills me up. I hope you have all the love you need within yourself and your life.

And if you are lonely, I’ll be your Valentine! Because I love you and I’ll always hold a space for you. Because you are worth it! 💋❤

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Love and hugs!!  xoxo

Reflection and Contemplation

contemplation and quote

Been reflecting lately. That’s why the blog has been quiet. No one seems to be interested in this juicing and modified juicing challenge, so I’m offing it early. Hearing some God whispers. May take the blog in a new direction.

Cursed still in progress

Cursed series is still a #wip but my heart is saying the world does not need a book right now on a magical clan, vampires, and dragons, etc. So putting it on hold for a few weeks… Yes, I will get back to it eventually.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love

In the song of Ms. Stacey Kent, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love.” Starting with self-love. It’s time for us to reclaim ourselves. It’s time to stop self-defeating behaviors and stop feeling lost.

Do you feel lost? Feel unlovable? Feeling unworthy of good things? Are you often feeling unhappy and like you’re just going through the motions, like a robot – even though you have blessings in your life? So then you feel guilty about not feeling happy?

I think I’ve already found step 1 in the journey and I shocked myself when I found it. Wanna know what it is? Can you guess?

Join me on this journey to self-love, forgiveness, and compassion

If you want to follow me on this journey, follow my Facebook writer page www.facebook.com/adjustingyourfocus since that’s where all the posts will be, starting in the coming days, Facebook videos and live feeds (OMG – I can’t believe I’m doing this – talk about OUT of my comfort zone!!!). Some things will be on the blog, some on Instagram, but most will probably be on the Facebook page.

#love #forgiveness #loving #compassion #friends #connect #connection

#self #service #selflove #sad #lonely #alone  #bliss #joy #happy

#happiness #lost

#found #listen #positivity #positive #confused

Breaking up with Tech

panic

Final Day of our 30 day Challenge!

Day 30 of Happily Ever After and since I’m a bit late in the evening rather than this morning, you can postpone doing this until one day that you are off work, like next weekend, since many of us have to have tech when we work.

Day 30 – Give tech a rest.

If you wrote down the time you spent on social media or reading emails or reading stuff online, I bet it would add up to hours over a day’s time, if not your entire work day, and then some. Get away from tech for one day! It won’t kill you. If you have to stay in contact with your family, use it for emergencies only or to know when to pick someone up but other than that, give tech a rest. And as far as that goes, TV too. Play board games, talk to your people, play with your pets, read a book.

I know tech keeps us connected and for many reasons, it’s a good thing, but we have become too dependent on gadgets and gizmos and living our lives completely around technology. Sometimes, we need to get back to nature, shut off electricity, live by candlelight, live by daylight, embrace the freedom from being tied up with tech for what seems like 24/7.

Break up with Tech, just for 24 hours. You might actually like it and it could become a new staple in your household, like one day a month, no tech, only connecting with each other and nature and the natural sounds around you.

Hope you guys found some happiness within some of these challenges. Let me know?

Until next time…

😉

#happilyeverafter

Take a Day Trip

Five friends in convertible car, waving arms in air, rear view

Day 29 of our 30 day challenge.

Today or tomorrow, plan (or don’t) a day trip. Gather your favorite peeps, get in the car and go somewhere fun, spend a few hours doing fun things and then come back home before bed time. If you are a spur-of-the-moment kind of person, or not, shake things up and do something different.

However, I should say to pick a place within 3 hours drive and google the place to see if there’s at least one interesting thing to see or do or place to eat. I did a spur-of-the-moment day trip and it was not at all what I read it was. The restaurant was probably the most horrible place we ever ate, the worst food, the worst service and had it not been for the fact that we enjoy each other’s company sooo much, that trip would have been an epic fail. Plus, we were in the middle of nowhere land and I don’t mean now-here, I mean no-where. We weren’t in the sticks. We were in the toothpicks. There were fields and grown up grass and trees and that was it. I think this was the one restaurant in the entire one-horse town.

With that being said, just be sure to do at least 10 minutes of research once you pick the place you are headed and find something there you and your peeps will enjoy. And take off!

Share with us where you went, how far it was and what kind of time y’all had!

Hope y’all are having a groovilicious weekend, so far!

*smooch*

#happilyeverafter

Get Out of Control

funny-baby-jesus-take-the-wheel

“I will take the leap of faith and peace;
I will let go and let God.”
~ Dana Fonseca

Day 27 – Get out of control

I mean, let go of control. It is what it is and if you cannot change it, hand it over to God and let it go. It’s not going to manifest in your life by your continuing to want it, longing for it. You can continue to pray for it but then, try your best to put it out of your mind as best you can and focus on other things you do have control over.

This also goes for anything in your life you hate. If you hate your job and your boss is a jerk and unappreciative, it’s time to let it go, but here, you take control. And only after you find something else first, of course. If your spouse is beating the crap out of you, time to let him go and get out of there fast, preferably when he’s not at home. The things you actually do have control over, it’s time to get in the driver’s seat of your life, take action and own your life. If you have no control over certain things, let Jesus take the wheel. He’s a much better driver anyway.

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Happy Friday Eve! Y’all go out there and make today as amazing as you are! And you’re pretty darned amazing!! xoxo

#happilyeverafter

Days 22 – 26 of 30 Day Happiness Challenge

volunteer

Day 22 – Volunteer day

This can be at a soup kitchen, helping a neighbor, helping an old lady at the grocery store. As long as you are assisting someone else for free, this is volunteering.

listening

Day 23 – Practice silence and the art of listening

It’s hard for me to be still but I am learning. It makes such a huge difference in the busyness of life when you can learn to be still, be quiet and listen, not only to what thoughts come flooding through your mind but the art of actually listening to others. It’s so beneficial to stop focusing on yourself long enough to listen to what others are trying to tell you. And when it comes to those thoughts floating through your mind, be careful what you listen to. We all have negative vibes that bounce through, so try to not pay too much attention to those voices. Just observe them and let them pass by. Listen more closely to the positive, uplifting voices. You know the difference. These are your God whispers and perhaps messages from your higher self.

read

Day 24 – Read something happy

Look for an article or book on anything uplifting, something that will help to lighten your mood, preferably something filled with humor. Read it.

positivity

Day 25 – Practice positivity all day long

Believe in people. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Not all people are bad. Go back to the old saying, “Screw me over once, shame on you. Screw me over twice, shame on me.” Give people a chance to show you they can be trusted. Also try believing in yourself, that you are talented, you are intelligent, you deserve good things, and practice having faith in yourself. Take your concerns and prayers to God/Jesus and then let it go. Try to not constantly focus on what it is you want. Only ask and expect it, while also taking inspired action toward it. Believe good things are happening and they are on their way to you and your loved ones. Believe it with all your might. When you send out the positive vibes, they will return to you with better results than what you might expect. But be careful with what you ask, because you just might get it. It’s always best to ask for what you want but end that statement with “…this or something better for the highest benefit of all concerned.” God listens to the small details of your requests, so be sure to include them. And just remember, you get what you put out there. So if it’s negativity, non-belief, doubt, stress, that will return to you. If you are positive, believe, have faith, know it’s happening, cast your worries aside, and let it go, then good things will return to you.

hug

Day 26 – Be gentle with yourself day

We are hardest on ourselves than anyone else. Apologize to yourself, forgive yourself, love yourself, thank yourself, be gentle with yourself. Only think today of your positive qualities and if a negative thought comes in your mind, observe it leaving your brain. Only positivity lives here today.

_____

Y’all have a wonderific day and know that you are loved!  xoxo

-Carol

#happilyeverafter

Days 17 – 21 of the Happily Ever After Challenge

tune it out

Day 17 – Tune out negative day

Take one day to not complain, vent, gossip or engage in anything negative spoken or thought about anyone, including yourself. Do not speak it, do not listen to it, and do not think it. Can ya do it?

gratitude

Day 18 – Gratitude Journal

You can do this on your computer, your phone, an actual handwritten journal/book, take 10-15 minutes to list everything you are thankful and grateful for – all the wonderful blessings you have in your life. Like the people closest to you, your health, the fact that you woke up breathing. You can take longer than 15 minutes if you feel the need. You can also do this every day to practice gratitude.

I mentioned this also on day 1.

sleep

Day 19 – Sleep tight

How tired were you yesterday? How tired are you this morning? How many hours of sleep did you get? If you are getting 6 hours and you’re tired, try 7 or 8. If you are getting 9 or 10 and you’re still tired, try 7 or 8. Try to get in the habit of going to bed at the same time every night and getting up at the same time every morning. If you are drinking too much coffee and find it hard to sleep, cut down on the caffeine. If you are drinking alcohol, this can make you feel restless, and make sure you’re getting enough water. Turn off all devices – put cell phones on do not disturb, do not look at it, get away from the computer, turn off the TV. You need stillness, quiet, darkness and rest.

talk to God

Day 20 – Conversation with God and with yourself

It helps to talk it out, whether you are pissed off or just to talk things over, to mull it over in your mind and then with spoken word, sometimes it helps to get it outside of ourselves. Write it down if you want. Say it out loud. Do both. Whatever feels right to you. But get it out there. Your concerns, your prayers, your thoughts, what you want, what you’re thankful for, what you need to do, how you need to make changes, and then make a step by step plan to get it done.

And if you are feeling stuck, have a habit of self-sabotage, or cannot find motivation, because maybe you think you don’t deserve good things, tell yourself this every day:

I’m sorry. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you. You do deserve good things.

And then take inspired action toward what you want – every day.

Three generations of women playing in the kitchen

Day 21- Girls/Guys Night or Family Night

Plan a dinner and drinks out, or get take out, rent a movie and stay in with your family/friends – have fun, catch up with each other. It’s not all about eating, drinking and watching TV. It’s about engaging with loved ones, talking and laughing.

____

Hope your day is Sanfrantastic!!!  Love ya! *smooch*

#happilyeverafter

 

Days 12 – 16 of Happiness Challenge

This undated image released by Copyright Bob Ross Inc./The Joy of Painting, shows the late Bob Ross, host of the PBS series "The Joy of Painting." PBS said Thursday it's posted a video remix with clips from "The Joy of Painting" instructional series, featuring the late Bob Ross. The "Happy Painter" remix is from John Boswell, who created the "Garden of Your Mind" video tribute to Fred Rogers. That mashup of clips from "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" has been viewed nearly 6 million times on YouTube. "The Joy of Painting," still seen in repeats, aired on PBS from 1983 to 1994 with its bushy-haired, mellow-voiced host. Ross died in 1995. (AP Photo/Copyright Bob Ross Inc. ® The Joy of Painting)
(AP Photo/Copyright Bob Ross Inc. ® The Joy of Painting)

Day 12 – Creation day

Create something. It can be artsy fartsy or cooking something, baking, making a baby (tehe!), whatever you are in the mood to create – go to it! Create something fun – something that inspires you.

thank you

Day 13 – Thank you day

Send/give a thank you gift or thank you card to someone today. This can be anyone. Thank anyone for anything, even if it’s someone new at the office you don’t normally talk to – thank them for their presence, their smile, their good energy – even if they don’t seem happy or nice – this will make them feel good and they probably need it. It’s easy to be nice to another kind person. It’s harder to be kind to someone who is or seems mean or stand-offish. But those are the people who especially need our kindness.

baking

Day 14 – Bake or make a happy

Bake cookies or brownies (or fruit/veggie tray if you’re being healthy) or something you think the office or neighbors would like, bring it with you to the office to share, or take a plate to your neighbor’s house (or a Ziploc bag if you think you won’t get your plate back). Or fruit or veggies that you are growing from your own yard or fresh picked flowers from your yard.

Family-Playing-Game-Together

Day 15 – Do something fun day

– something that fills your heart with joy – preferably with family and/or friends, cook out, go to a play, go to a movie, eat out and chat, rent a movie – get take out – and spend the day hanging out with your besties at home, water park, zoo, lunch and the park, roller skating, some sort of social function/party/meet-up – whatever you do, you have to smile, laugh, talk, be silly and have fun!

community

Day 16 – Community day

This can be in person or if you are part of an online community where you can share your authentic self and feel like you are part of a community of like-minded people, a place where you feel accepted or a place where you can help someone in any way, shape or form.

_____

Y’all could do as many of these together on one day as you like or split them all up. Hope you enjoy each one and they make you feel all lit up inside!

Love you!  xoxo

#happilyeverafter

Days 7-11 of the Happily Ever After Challenge

I apologize for being a bit slow on keeping this updated. Since the next 4 days will be catching up, I will try to keep them short and sweet.

fitness

Day 7 – Fitness

To some, this should be a four letter word, me included. Now, if it was spent hiking a trail (but not in this Mississippi summer heat), snow skiing, water skiing or mountain climbing, I’d look forward to it, but the thought of going to the gym, or getting on the treadmill in my living room or simply taking a walk, blegh. However, once I actually get on the treadmill, about halfway through the experience, I’m liking it. I’m thinking, “Well, this is going to whip my bootie into shape while at the same time, giving me energy to fuel my day, increasing and bettering my mood, making my heart healthy and once I’m done, I’ll step off into a high, which I love!” Do you ever get that? You step off the treadmill and you feel like you’re floating across the floor? I love it! However you get your fitness, it’s good for you and it will boost your level of happiness.

pamper

Day 8 – Pamper yourself day

Treat yourself to a luxurious hot bubble bath or fragrant bath salts. Light some candles. Turn on some mood music (Louis Armstrong, Billie Holiday, Etta James, or whatever strikes your fancy) and pamper yourself.  This is a great day for sipping your coffee outside just before the sunrise, in the coolness of the day, listening to nature, watching the colors of the sky change and the vibrancy of the green in the trees before and after the sunshine rests upon them. Dance through your day. Sway to mellow music that feels healing to you, or jazz it up and pump it up, get yo booty on the floor and do that happy dance, depending on your mood. Want relaxation or to shake yo booty? A nice cup of hot tea in the evening with a piece of shortbread or a scone is a nice treat at the end of the day.

grass

Day 9 – Get out in nature

If it’s 107 degrees with the heat index where you are, like it is here, try to get outdoors just when the sun is rising or just before when the sky is starting to light up, or get outside at sunset, dusk or just after it gets dark, dance with the fireflies, walk barefoot in the grass, listen to the sounds of nature, the crickets chirping, the birds singing, the frogs burping. Either take a 10-20 minute walk, (just walk around on your lawn barefoot), or sit outside in your porch swing (or what have you) and awaken your senses to the great outdoors – sounds of nature, feeling the breeze (hopefully) on your skin and in your hair, take in the beauty surrounding you, notice the fragrance in the air where you are.

smile

Day 10 – Smile day

Wherever you are, whether alone or in a crowd, smile! Work those grinning muscles! Even if it’s fake, fake it till ya make it. Just the simple act of smiling can make you wanna turn that frown upside down. Sometimes going through the motions can lift your spirits and get you out of the funk you’re in. Look in the mirror and smile. Grin a silly grin. Just pretend if you have to, and before long, you won’t be pretending.

laugh

Day 11 – Laugh day

Make yourself laugh! Make others laugh. Tell jokes. Listen to jokes. Watch funny movies. Listen to your favorite comedian. Visit with family members or friends that are funny and silly and let them make you laugh, or vice versa. Do whatever you have to do to laugh as much as you can today. Turn on a fun dance song, pretend you are making your own silly music video. Sing to it and dance around, put on a sexy gaze that can only produce belly laughter! Sometimes, ya gotta be crazy, shake things up, and get yo laugh on! Do this alone or with others. I do this quite frequently when I’m alone and with my family. Crazy, right? Yup, that’s me.

Have a stellar day, y’all!  Love ya!

*smooch*

#HappilyEverAfter

Day 5 & Day 6 of Happily Ever After 30 day Challenge

meditation

I’m a day late and dollar short but I’m here, showing up…

And with that, let us begin with our Day 5 that I’m a day behind on…

Day 5 = Meditation

No, I didn’t say medication, although meditation is sort of medication for the soul, for the mind, as well as relaxation of stress and worry for the body, so sure, meditation can be considered medication, but no drugs are involved with this.

Not to sound too woo-woo, as meditation, to some, can be considered new-agey or something abnormal. That’s what I used to think about meditation, anyway. And I know many who think it’s weird, new-agey or not in line with their religion. Fact is, meditation dates back over 5,000 years.

This is simply training the mind to relax, focus on simply the music playing and/or the words spoken when using a guided meditation, which is what I prefer.

I dare you to try it. It’s the stuff! It’s made a profound impact on me and my focus and being able to still myself and be in the moment and more aware. Although, when I go a few days or weeks without it, I can also see myself begin to spiral downward back into my depths of despair of whatever negative things are going on in my life at the moment. Meditation, for me, helps me to be more aware of myself in the moment, helps me to relax more, worry and doubt less, believe more, while also teaching me to be gentle with myself and cut me a break – something I’m not used to doing. I’ve always been harder on myself than anyone else so this has been quite the lesson for me.

If you need a free resource or lead to some great guided meditations – you can Google guided meditation on YouTube and look for the most viewed or most liked, or one of the ones I prefer to use is an app I downloaded on my Android phone: Mindfulness Meditations – once you download, then click Library, then Mindfulness for Releasing Anxiety FREE (23 minutes).

I dare you to meditate at least 20 minutes a day for a week and tell me how it’s changed your life.

healthy eating

Today, you get 2 for the price of 1 = Day 6 = Healthy Eating

It’s all about eating less junk food and filling your plate (not to the brim, but sensible servings) with dark green, leafy stuff. Baby spinach is great! Eat more salad, chop up strawberries and add a couple, add some blue cheese, or your preferred flavor, and then ever so light on the vinaigrette. Drink more water. You are supposed to get 64 oz of fluids per day. Hot summer days and more physical activity means you need even more than that. Eat more veggies. Get your protein through chicken and/or turkey, as these are probably the healthiest proteins for your body. Less red meat. Cut the sugar. Sugar is probably the leading cause of acne, wrinkles, age spots and other skin conditions, among other internal disease.

Try to get away from processed foods and go for the more organic and raw foods. Berries are great for you! The more colorful the fruit and veggie, the better it is for you. Red bell pepper, eggplant, pomegranate, blueberries, strawberries, etc. Sweet potatoes and bananas are good for you, also, but if you are trying to lose weight, opt to find your potassium elsewhere rather than bananas, because those will not help you lose weight. Kick away the hamburgers, the chips, the soda, candy, cookies, cake, etc. Eating healthy will not only lead to a healthier body, healthier skin, but also a healthier disposition, because not only will you BE healthier, you’ll FEEL healthier and be filled with more energy, thus leading to happiness, or #HappilyEverAfter – woo-hooo!

Hope you are finding yourself a bit happier.  Let me know if I can help!

Love ya!  xoxo

Carol