Contemplating Decisions in Writing

Here I go again.

I’ve reached the point of being about 96% finished with this YA fantasy/fiction book 1 of 3 or 4. A lot to still work out and I’ve been questioning myself about this book and another. I keep going back and forth. I don’t know if it’s resistance to finishing what I’ve almost finished. I don’t know if it’s because I’m already revising while I’m writing which always messes me up. I don’t know if it’s because this other book may be needed more – a book on living a better life, the many ways we can heal ourselves from the wounds we seem to inflict upon ourselves for no good reason, because we haven’t learned to love ourselves – and how to love ourselves and STOP self-sabotage. I know I could write it well as I’m a lifelong sufferer of depression and self-sabotage and am just getting the point of loving myself – truly liking and loving myself. Better late than never.

I look at the world and I see all these attacks on people and I have to sit and cry. I actually try to steer clear of the news because I fall into this sickness, a deep depression, because these killers are insane and need help and these poor innocent victims – I just can’t begin to imagine the pain they suffer – the ones who actually live through these horrific tragedies.

I ask myself why does the world need another book of YA fiction. How does this help the world? How does this serve anyone? I mean, honestly, the book or books I write are for you. So what would serve you the most? Do you really need just another book that’s fantasy (a means of escaping reality) or do you need healing? Do you need to learn to love yourself and enjoy life more and on a deeper level? Do you need to learn how to forgive and find ways of serving others? Do you need to see life differently, in a more positive light, to find the good in yourself and in others? Do you need tools and examples and truths and steps how you can master your life and overcome all your self-defeating obstacles? I ask you. You, readers, what would benefit you the most?

I’ve been praying and praying and asking for a sign which way I should go. I’m trying to listen and haven’t received anything yet, one way more than another. I don’t know if it’s wrong to ask for a sign but guidance is a sign, right? Lord, show me guidance, PLEASE?! Soooo confused…

This is not about asking you what I should do. This is about asking you what you would rather read – what would serve you the most.

Please comment me letting me know which you’d rather read, which would serve you the most and why, or simply participate in the poll if you don’t have time to leave a comment.

Searching For Her Beloved

She walked tirelessly

Until her feet bled

And then, she walked on

Ignoring the pain

She held on to the faith

She’d find her beloved

That belief is what sustained her

Through her hunger

Through her restlessness

Through the welcomed setting sun

As she knew with nightfall

She’d finally find rest

If only for a moment

Until the sun rose the next

__________

This is actually a line I just wrote today from my novel.  Listening to Earth Shadow by Deuter, I felt it sounded more like poetry than perhaps a line so felt the need to share.  If you are a writer reading this, always be on the lookout for inspirational music to play in the background, something new to you, something different.  You never know with what you may find your inspiration, no matter how blocked you think you may be at a given time.  Usually, I prefer to write in silence.  Sometimes, you have to change things up a bit.  Happy writing and/or creating and may inspiration and creativity flow to you, through you and onto whatever you choose as your canvas.

Truth Without Humiliation

eleanor“The reason that fiction is more interesting than any other form of literature, to those who really like to study people, is that in fiction the author can really tell the truth without humiliating himself.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

Nanoo Nanoo to NaNoWriMo

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If you ever watched the television sci-fi sitcom Mork & Mindy, you’ll know where that phrase originated, which was a greeting and farewell by the much loved alien from planet Ork.

For those unfamiliar with NaNoWriMo, it stands for National Novel Writing Month, which is held Nov 1-30 every year.  They also offer Camp NaNoWriMo, held in April and July of each year, I believe.  NaNoWriMo challenges writers of all genres to participate in this 30 days of complete frenzy, chaos, frazzled nerves, sleepy eyes and fingers to come up with 50,000 words.

2013-Participant-Facebook-Cover

They ask for quantity over quality, meaning you think and type as fast as you can in the amount of time you are given to come up with a novel.  When you reach the 50,000 scrambled and scribbled words, you submit no later than 11:59:59 pm Nov 30.

You can then choose to edit, reorganize, rewrite, find an agent and a publisher and become a beloved published author of your new book.  This is how some famous authors actually got their start.  Did you read the book Water for Elephants?  Or watch the movie?  That book was conceived as a result of the author shakin’ it up with NaNoWriMo!

Well, I’m willing to give it the ole college try and participate in this, write at 0’dark:30 every morning, as well as work a full time job (although it’s at home, but still busy busy), take care of my child, manage to cook once in a while, attempt cooking for Thanksgiving, try to start getting ready for Christmas and let my house fall into ruin for these next 30 days.

Not only am I working on a bit of fiction that I started back in April (even tho, technically, the rules ask for you to start a new book), I also have a work of non-fiction/self-help/Christian in process for which I started this month.  Yes, go ahead and call me crazy.  I will be working on these books simultaneously, although the only one I will submit to Nano will be my fiction work.

I will do my utmost to post on my progress as well as update with the badges I’ve earned during the month.  If I fail for lack of time in my schedule, then I will surely update toward or at the end of November.  Gonna be insane around here.

One day, I’ll even make the time to go update my 101 things list.  😉  But, for now, I’ll post the badges I’ve earned so far.

profile_earned-4f671c12ad364d699c3070d46f896d0d[1](I earned this by filling out my profile in Nano)

region_earned-90fa06f68977400424beeca2abdb4fdc[1](I earned this by choosing a home region)

novel_earned-56af087fbf57e3beee4b034211d4e5f0[1](I earned this by creating my novel)

Do you write?  Do you love it?  Why not join us?  Putting it off to a day in the future when you will have time?  Well … when you think like that, the time never arrives.  Do it now.  Write the book.  As Nike says, “just do it.”  Then, at the end of November, you can look back on your accomplishment with pride and joy and say, “I did it!” or “I wrote a novel!” or “I started my novel!” or “I’m nearly finished with my novel!”  Then, take it from there.

I’m determined to actually finish this fiction work (rewriting, revising, editing, polishing, proofing, employing my Beta readers, taking their suggestions and thoughts into consideration, polishing and proofing yet again, and then send queries to agents & publishers) all by the middle of January 2014.  Hopefully, the non-fiction will be finished by the middle of December or January, as it is considerably shorter.

And to all of you participating, I will cheer you on.  Let me know so I can cheer you on personally.  Go GERRY!!!!  Go LYNN!!!!  Y’all rock!  We gonna rock it togetha!!!!  And if y’all want to cheer me on during the month of November and onward, as well, I’m up for it, as we all need encouragement, support and cheerleaders in our lives, don’t we?

Rock on wit yo bad self!  😉

BTW, if you are looking for a writing buddy, look me up on Nano as Carol Blake.